George Monbiot is a contemporary English journalist. Much of his work, published in the British newspaper, The Guardian, has an environmental focus, and Monbiot is much concerned with environmental and social justice. You are going to read a Higher Level (HL) Essay written by a student who has, as part of their course of study, read a number of Monbiot's essays as part of a body of work.
Preparation
You will read the essay shortly. Before doing so, review the marking criteria for the HL Essay.
Once you have read the marking criteria, prepare to read the student's essay. Ensure you have a pen or pencil handy to make notes. Feel free to make a note of anything that occurs to you, but try to address the following questions:
Questions
- How effective is the student's question that gives a title to and directs the essay?
- How well does the student show knowledge and understanding of the body of work? Where is this shown?
- How well does the student critically consider the writer's choices of language and style? Where is this shown?
- How well organised, focused, and developed is the essay? Where is this shown?
- How clear, varied, and accurate is the language? How appropriate is the style? Where is this shown?
- How effective is the introductory paragraph? Explain your thinking.
- How effective is the concluding paragraph? Explain your thinking.
Reading the Essay
Read the essay (see below) at least three times. The first time you read it, aim to get a broad gist of it. You can read it quite quickly. On a second reading, slow down and read more critically. Allow the questions (above) to guide your thinking. Begin to make notes. On a third reading, continue to read critically and evaluatively. Continue to be guided by the questions (above) and find evidence for the claims you are making.
The Sample Essay
Higher Level (HL) Essay
In his essays, what narrative and language structures does George Monbiot use to challenge power to bring about ‘positive’ change and a ‘better’ world?
The journalist and political activist, George Monbiot, appeared at the TED Summit in Edinburgh in July 2019. In his talk (‘The New Political Story That Could Change Everything’), Monbiot claimed that humans are “creatures of narrative”, and he argued that there is an urgent need to construct “a new story with which to replace neoliberalism”. The story Monbiot suggests is a version of an ancient narrative that he refers to as “the restoration story”. According to Monbiot, the actual stories contained within the narrative structure may vary. Indeed, and crucially, competing stories can, and do, exist within an identical restoration narrative framework. The overarching narrative suggests that societal disorder can be displaced by a brave hero figure that challenges traditional authority and fights against the odds to restore societal harmony. In Monbiot’s essays, the brave hero figure is different in each particular story he tells, but traditional authority tends to consist of those social, economic, and political elites that create and maintain social inequality at considerable cost to our planet’s physical environment. It is interesting, therefore, to observe how Monbiot’s own essays, published in The Guardian newspaper, are typically structured around the restoration narrative. This essay considers the ways Monbiot uses and exploits this narrative to tell a variety of stories, each of which champions the oppressed and marginalized, and vilifies greedy elites to tell a story that, in every instance, argues for ‘positive’ change in pursuit of a ‘better’ world.
In reading Monbiot’s essays, it is important to recognize that he is not an impartial, disinterested journalist. He is, by his own admission, a biased and committed journalist who sees the role of journalism as being “to hold power to account” (Monbiot, 2011). Monbiot has been influenced by another writer-cum-activist, George Marshall, who asserts that the restoration narrative is predominant across arguments made by both the political left and right (Marshall, 2014). In other words, the narrative enables opposite, contradictory stories to be told within a single trope. Marshall goes on to argue that real political engagement with ideas we find disagreeable cannot be achieved until we recognize that a single narrative tells contrary stories. That is, a political meeting of minds requires those of one persuasion to build and extend, in new ways, the stories of their political opponents. Monbiot, however, is not bound to this logic. After all, he is writing in the left-leaning Guardian newspaper whose readership is an audience of ‘the converted’ who broadly share his views. Thus, Monbiot is not constrained to seek ‘balance’ in his journalism, and instead his stories tend to converge around a concern for the various ways that, in his view, powerful groups act with avarice to disadvantage many and cause significant environmental damage.
A rough, but nevertheless helpful initial indication that Monbiot’s essays correspond to a particular, repeated narrative paradigm is word length. There is, that is, a tendency for Monbiot to tell is stories within about 950-1150 words. While this may simply reflect editorial parameters set by The Guardian, it is within this word limit that Monbiot tends to construct his restoration narrative. Typically, Monbiot presents an issue that he frames as a problem. He explains why the issue is problematic and of concern, suggesting that because of a particular set of policies and/or actions, decidedly negative outcomes follow. Often the problem and its perpetrators, as Monbiot describes it, reflect the dominant ideas and practices of elite groups. In terms of Monbiot’s general structure, this is the ‘disorder’ stage of his narrative. He then moves on to challenge the status quo. That is, an intellectual outlaw of sorts – the ‘brave hero figure’ in the restoration narrative – is inserted into the essay with an alternative, ‘progressive’ vision that suggests a ‘better’ world is possible, or is already being established.
An example of this structure is found in Monbiot’s essay ‘The Problem is Capitalism’ (2019). Here, Monbiot argues that capitalism involves a grossly unequal and unfair distribution of the planet’s resources and is, ultimately, unsustainable, leading to “environmental catastrophe”. Monbiot’s typically pithy headline is, in this instance, unequivocal. The intellectual outlaws (i.e. the ‘heroes’) in this essay are many, and Monbiot provides a long list of ‘hero figures’ towards the end of his narrative. He is clear in signalling the apparently iconoclastic nature of challenging capitalism, writing that, “to say ‘capitalism is failing’ in the 21st century is like saying ‘God is dead’ in the 19th. It is secular blasphemy”. As noted, Monbiot readily identifies the ‘protagonists’ of his stories. By contrast, he seems more reluctant to explicitly identify his ‘antagonists’. In ‘The Problem of Capitalism’ (2019), Monbiot does challenge the views of Joseph Stiglitz[1], but he generally prefers the nominalized word “capitalism” to express the source of the ‘problem’, suggesting that the challenge is systemic. This strategy allows readers, through implicature, to ‘insert’ into the narrative their own probable antagonists and, for Monbiot, avoids potential legal challenges that may arise from naming specific individuals or groups. Thus, in ‘No More Excuses’ (2019), the antagonist is “the political class”; in ‘Law of Nature’ (2019) it is “those who destroy the living world” and “a few powerful people, companies or states”; and in ‘Parklife’ (2018) it is “agencies supposed to protect [national parks]”.
A vital component in Monbiot’s narrative is the way he tends to structure his sub-headings to signpost his undergirding argument. Although Monbiot frequently recycles the restoration narrative in his essays, at a more straightforward level they are about providing solutions to problems he identifies. That is, the essays move, rhetorically, from problem to solution, and many of his sub-headings succinctly synthesize his argument. For example, in ‘Parklife’ (2018) his headline reads, “our national parks are ecological deserts, run for the benefit of a tiny minority. It’s time we reclaimed them”. The sub-heading builds ironically on the headline, suggesting that there is, in fact, an absence of life in Britain’s national parks. The sub-heading divides into two sentences – a characteristic feature of Monbiot’s writing. The first sentence identifies the problem; the second sentence identifies the solution. In this headline, readers can identify particular language features that are commonplace in many of Monbiot’s essays: His writing is rich in metaphor. Here, in comparing Britain’s national parks to deserts, he suggests a physical environment that is, in most people’s imagination, vast, arid and devoid of life. None of this may be, in reality, entirely true, but it reveals the figurative quality of Monbiot’s writing, constructed to incite a strong emotional response in readers. Monbiot also frequently employs personal and possessive pronouns, and possessive determiners as a form of synthetic personalization intended to build ideological affiliation with his views. In this instance, “our” and “we” are included in the sub-heading. These words may refer to ‘the British people’, ‘the masses’, and/or ‘readers of The Guardian newspaper’. In a wider sense, however, they are intended to signal a complicit reader who shares Monbiot’s concerns and world-view. This encouraged complicity is reinforced through the contraction “it’s”. Monbiot is not averse to using complex lexis and a scientific argot – after all, his readers tend to be highly literate – but “it’s” rather than the expanded equivalent has a speech like informality that encourages an affiliation with Monbiot’s own perspective. Despite this apparent informality, Monbiot tends to be strongly assertive in the claims he makes. This two-sentence declarative sub-heading is typical of Monbiot emphatic style.
George Marshall, has shown that appeal to emotion rather than rationality has the greatest role in shaping and shifting opinions (Marshall, 2014). Above, we have seen how Monbiot uses language to establish an emotive response in his reader. However, Monbiot’s arguments also build on the findings of the scientific community. These ‘accessed voices’ sometimes function as intellectual outlaws whose views run contrary to those of the hegemonic establishment, but, more so, they provide credibility or ethos to his claims, thereby wedding emotion to apparently objective rationality. Thus, in ‘No More Excuses’ (2019), Monbiot refers to “Erica Chenoweth’s historical research” and in ‘Law of Nature’ (2019) he highlights “the world-changing work of Polly Higgins”. Such accessed voices lend integrity to Monbiot’s claims, and this reliability is reinforced for the online reader who can directly access the hyperlinked research of experts. Moreover, the modified noun phrases – “historical research”; “world-changing work” (my italics) – reinforce the authority of Monbiot’s sources through positive emphasis.
Monbiot’s narrative moves from problem to solution via sometimes-subversive intellectual outlaws and a global community of scientists, policy makers, activists, and writers who are prepared to challenge dominant ideas and find solutions to seemingly intractable issues. His style is bold and forceful. He depicts the world as bleak, but he remains optimistic, suggesting that a ‘better’ world is possible. Monbiot’s role as change-maker seems to be that of writer and communicator. He is a teller of redemption narratives. If, however, George Marshall’s assertion that the narrative is employed by all political persuasions is accurate, Monbiot may need to find alternative narratives to better engage with those whose views differ from his own.
Works Cited:
Marshall, George. Don’t Even Think About It: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Ignore Climate Change. 2014.
Monbiot, George. ‘The New Political Story That Could Change Everything’. TED. 26 July 2019. Lecture.
Monbiot, George. ‘Introduction’. The Guardian. 28 June 2011.
Monbiot, George. ‘Parklife’. The Guardian. 3 March 2018.
Monbiot, George. ‘Law of Nature’. The Guardian. 30 March 2019.
Monbiot, George. ‘No More Excuses’. The Guardian. 20 April 2019.
Monbiot, George. ‘The Problem is Capitalism’. The Guardian. 30 April 2019.
[1] Stiglitz is a Nobel Prize winning economist
The Examiner's Comments
Now that you have read the essay several times and considered it carefully, read the comments of the teacher. The teacher, in this case, is an experienced IB examiner.
Higher Level (HL) Essay
In his essays, what narrative and language structures does George Monbiot use to challenge power to bring about ‘positive’ change and a ‘better’ world?[DM1]
The journalist and political activist, George Monbiot, appeared at the TED Summit in Edinburgh in July 2019. In his talk (‘The New Political Story That Could Change Everything’), Monbiot claimed that humans are “creatures of narrative”, and he argued that there is an urgent need to construct “a new story with which to replace neoliberalism”. The story Monbiot suggests is a version of an ancient narrative that he refers to as “the restoration story”. According to Monbiot, the actual stories contained within the narrative structure may vary. Indeed, and crucially, competing stories can, and do, exist within an identical restoration narrative framework. The overarching narrative suggests that societal disorder can be displaced by a brave hero figure that challenges traditional authority and fights against the odds to restore societal harmony. In Monbiot’s essays, the brave hero figure is different in each particular story he tells, but traditional authority tends to consist of those social, economic, and political elites that create and maintain social inequality at considerable cost to our planet’s physical environment. It is interesting, therefore, to observe how Monbiot’s own essays, published in The Guardian newspaper, are typically structured around the restoration narrative. This essay considers the ways Monbiot uses and exploits this narrative to tell a variety of stories, each of which champions the oppressed and marginalized, and vilifies greedy elites to tell a story that, in every instance, argues for ‘positive’ change in pursuit of a ‘better’ world.[DM2]
In reading Monbiot’s essays, it is important to recognize that he is not an impartial, disinterested journalist. He is, by his own admission, a biased and committed journalist who sees the role of journalism as being “to hold power to account” (Monbiot, 2011). Monbiot has been influenced by another writer-cum-activist, George Marshall, who asserts that the restoration narrative is predominant across arguments made by both the political left and right (Marshall, 2014). In other words, the narrative enables opposite, contradictory stories to be told within a single trope. Marshall goes on to argue that real political engagement with ideas we find disagreeable cannot be achieved until we recognize that a single narrative tells contrary stories. That is, a political meeting of minds requires those of one persuasion to build and extend, in new ways, the stories of their political opponents. Monbiot, however, is not bound to this logic. After all, he is writing in the left-leaning Guardian newspaper whose readership is an audience of ‘the converted’ who broadly share his views. Thus, Monbiot is not constrained to seek ‘balance’ in his journalism, and instead his stories tend to converge around a concern for the various ways that, in his view, powerful groups act with avarice to disadvantage many and cause significant environmental damage. [DM3]
A rough, but nevertheless helpful initial indication that Monbiot’s essays correspond to a particular, repeated narrative paradigm [DM4] is word length. There is, that is, a tendency for Monbiot to tell is stories within about 950-1150 words. While this may simply reflect editorial parameters set by The Guardian, it is within this word limit that Monbiot tends to construct his restoration narrative. Typically, Monbiot presents an issue that he frames as a problem. He explains why the issue is problematic and of concern, suggesting that because of a particular set of policies and/or actions, decidedly negative outcomes follow. Often the problem and its perpetrators, as Monbiot describes it, reflect the dominant ideas and practices of elite groups. In terms of Monbiot’s general structure, this is the ‘disorder’ stage of his narrative. He then moves on to challenge the status quo. That is, an intellectual outlaw of sorts – the ‘brave hero figure’ in the restoration narrative – is inserted into the essay with an alternative, ‘progressive’ vision that suggests a ‘better’ world is possible, or is already being established.
An example [DM5] of this structure is found in Monbiot’s essay ‘The Problem is Capitalism’ (2019). Here, Monbiot argues that capitalism involves a grossly unequal and unfair distribution of the planet’s resources and is, ultimately, unsustainable, leading to “environmental catastrophe”. Monbiot’s typically pithy headline [DM6] is, in this instance, unequivocal. The intellectual outlaws (i.e. the ‘heroes’) in this essay are many, and Monbiot provides a long list of ‘hero figures’ towards the end of his narrative. He is clear in signalling the apparently iconoclastic nature of challenging capitalism, writing that, “to say ‘capitalism is failing’ in the 21st century is like saying ‘God is dead’ in the 19th. It is secular blasphemy”. As noted, Monbiot readily identifies the ‘protagonists’ of his stories. By contrast, he seems more reluctant to explicitly identify his ‘antagonists’. In ‘The Problem of Capitalism’ (2019), Monbiot does challenge the views of Joseph Stiglitz[1], but he generally prefers the nominalized word “capitalism” to express the source of the ‘problem’, suggesting that the challenge is systemic. This strategy allows readers, through implicature, to ‘insert’ into the narrative their own probable antagonists and, for Monbiot, avoids potential legal challenges that may arise from naming specific individuals or groups[DM7] . Thus, in ‘No More Excuses’ (2019), the antagonist is “the political class”; in ‘Law of Nature’ (2019) it is “those who destroy the living world” and “a few powerful people, companies or states”; and in ‘Parklife’ (2018) it is “agencies supposed to protect [national parks]”.[DM8]
A vital component in Monbiot’s narrative is the way he tends to structure his sub-headings to signpost his undergirding argument. Although Monbiot frequently recycles the restoration narrative in his essays, at a more straightforward level they are about providing solutions to problems he identifies. That is, the essays move, rhetorically, from problem to solution, and many of his sub-headings succinctly synthesize his argument. For example, in ‘Parklife’ (2018) his headline reads, “our national parks are ecological deserts, run for the benefit of a tiny minority. It’s time we reclaimed them”. The sub-heading builds ironically on the headline, suggesting that there is, in fact, an absence of life in Britain’s national parks. The sub-heading divides into two sentences – a characteristic feature of Monbiot’s writing. The first sentence identifies the problem; the second sentence identifies the solution. In this headline, readers can identify particular language features that are commonplace in many of Monbiot’s essays: His writing is rich in metaphor. Here, in comparing Britain’s national parks to deserts, he suggests a physical environment that is, in most people’s imagination, vast, arid and devoid of life. None of this may be, in reality, entirely true, but it reveals the figurative quality of Monbiot’s writing, constructed to incite a strong emotional response in readers[DM9] . Monbiot also frequently employs personal and possessive pronouns, and possessive determiners as a form of synthetic personalization intended to build ideological affiliation with his views. In this instance, “our” and “we” are included in the sub-heading. These words may refer to ‘the British people’, ‘the masses’, and/or ‘readers of The Guardian newspaper’. In a wider sense, however, they are intended to signal a complicit reader who shares Monbiot’s concerns and world-view. This encouraged complicity is reinforced through the contraction “it’s”. Monbiot is not averse to using complex lexis and a scientific argot – after all, his readers tend to be highly literate – but “it’s” rather than the expanded equivalent has a speech like informality that encourages an affiliation with Monbiot’s own perspective. Despite this apparent informality, Monbiot tends to be strongly assertive in the claims he makes. This two-sentence declarative sub-heading is typical of Monbiot emphatic style.
George Marshall, has shown that appeal to emotion rather than rationality has the greatest role in shaping and shifting opinions (Marshall, 2014). Above, we have seen how Monbiot uses language to establish an emotive response in his reader. However, Monbiot’s arguments also build on the findings of the scientific community. These ‘accessed voices’ sometimes function as intellectual outlaws whose views run contrary to those of the hegemonic establishment, but, more so, they provide credibility or ethos to his claims, thereby wedding emotion to apparently objective rationality. Thus, in ‘No More Excuses’ (2019), Monbiot refers to “Erica Chenoweth’s historical research” and in ‘Law of Nature’ (2019) he highlights “the world-changing work of Polly Higgins”. Such accessed voices lend integrity to Monbiot’s claims, and this reliability is reinforced for the online reader who can directly access the hyperlinked research of experts. Moreover, the modified noun phrases – “historical research”; “world-changing work” (my italics) – reinforce the authority of Monbiot’s sources through positive emphasis.
Monbiot’s narrative moves from problem to solution via sometimes-subversive intellectual outlaws and a global community of scientists, policy makers, activists, and writers who are prepared to challenge dominant ideas and find solutions to seemingly intractable issues. His style is bold and forceful. He depicts the world as bleak, but he remains optimistic, suggesting that a ‘better’ world is possible. Monbiot’s role as change-maker seems to be that of writer and communicator. He is a teller of redemption narratives. If, however, George Marshall’s assertion that the narrative is employed by all political persuasions is accurate, Monbiot may need to find alternative narratives to better engage with those whose views differ from his own.[DM10]
Works Cited:
Marshall, George. Don’t Even Think About It: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Ignore Climate Change. 2014.
Monbiot, George. ‘The New Political Story That Could Change Everything’. TED. 26 July 2019. Lecture.
Monbiot, George. ‘Introduction’. The Guardian. 28 June 2011.
Monbiot, George. ‘Parklife’. The Guardian. 3 March 2018.
Monbiot, George. ‘Law of Nature’. The Guardian. 30 March 2019.
Monbiot, George. ‘No More Excuses’. The Guardian. 20 April 2019.
Monbiot, George. ‘The Problem is Capitalism’. The Guardian. 30 April 2019.
Examiner’s Comment: This is a very successful essay on the whole. In a few places there is a degree of detail that, while interesting, does not wholly address the question. Nevertheless, the student shows both an excellent understanding of the body of work, individual texts, and the way the writer’s language choices shape meaning. The writing is appropriate and, frequently, sophisticated. The essay is well balanced and develops logically in response to a well-considered question.
[1] Stiglitz is a Nobel Prize winning economist.
[DM1]This is a good question. It is about something – power, positive change, and a better world, but it is also – this is important – about how language represents and structures these things. Clearly worded, the question allows a focused response. Although you don’t need to introduce HL Essays with questions, we recommend the practice.
[DM2]After an introduction that contextualises the essay, the student introduces their thesis – that is, their main argument – and ‘signposts’ the discussion that will follow. Always introduce your thesis in the first paragraph; it makes little sense to delay doing this.
[DM3]This second paragraph introduces useful contextual and background ideas that frame the discussion. Any kind of background detail is often best placed in a second paragraph if readers need this information. Not all HL Essays will require much background discussion, and arguably the student writes at too much length here.
[DM4]The student’s question asks about narrative. This paragraph addresses this aspect of the question, and shows a good understanding of how the writer (i.e. George Monbiot) structures his essays. If you ask a questions, you should, as here, respond to it.
[DM5]Essays should contain examples. Examples are your evidence. It is through making general claims and showing specific examples that you address your question and show an understanding of the work or body of work you are writing about. This essay has a good range of examples.
[DM6]If you are writing about a body of work – as here – you will want to connect the examples from individual texts to the wider body of work. You might, for example (as here), ask yourself if the example is typical or untypical of the author’s writing more generally. In this way, you show understanding of specific texts and the body of work.
[DM7]Here, the student is showing an understanding of the ways in which Monbiot uses language and is, in turn, addressing the question they have asked. Two linguistic ideas – nominalization and implicature – are discussed. It isn’t important that you know what these things mean if you don’t. However, it is helpful to use terminology where appropriate. You don’t have to explain what the terminology means – you can assume your reader does.
[DM8]If you are writing about a body of work, then you should, as here, use examples from across that body of work.
[DM9]Notice that the student makes a claim about what they think Monbiot’s language is intended to do. That is, they consider the probable effect on the reader. To do this is fine. However, language texts do not ‘make’ readers think or do something, and we can never fully know how any given reader will respond to a text. Thus, any claim you make about how readers may think and feel about a text must be a little bit speculative.
[DM10]The student’s final paragraph doesn’t begin with ‘to conclude’ or ‘in conclusion’. It isn’t necessary for you to do so, and it is, in fact, rather lazy since you don’t really have the last word. You should, however, aim to bring your discussion together – the student does this here – and then consider briefly the possible wider implications of your discussion – again, the student does this. The essay, in other words, is summarised in the last paragraph, but the wider discussion is not entirely closed off. Don’t ever simply repeat with greater brevity what you have already written and leave things there; that is dull and adds nothing to your argument.
- What is their view?
- Where do you agree?
- What points does the teacher make that you don't?
- What points have you made that the teacher hasn't?
Reflect
What have you learned from this activity? That is, what ideas and strategies have you identified that will inform the writing of your own HL Essay? It is useful to write your ideas down in your own words and add them to your Learner Portfolio.
How much of HL Sample: Non-literary Body of Work - George Monbiot's Essays have you understood?
Feedback
Which of the following best describes your feedback?